Weird Movies? We Got Em

I've come to the conclusion that I don't really like big name Hollywood movies. Each big action movie seems to only be a few soulless explosions followed by a poor climax. Cheap dramas don't seem to try to make a new plot in fear of scaring off the six million people that go and see every one. The award shows are useless, and the people that mindlessly watch whatever gets nominated. Rarely do movies come along that I truly want to see. Scott Pilgrim was one of them. Ninja Assassin was another. Inception.  I've gone and seen other movies, socially, but I've rarely walked away thinking 'I really enjoyed that.'


Well, either way, I have seen other movies. Direct to DVD type. Limited debut type movies. Ya know what? Those movies have a lot to prove. The populous generally watches what they see in the commercials between bouts of America's Got Talent and typically watch them while drunk. Its the unreal dialogue and safe story hooks that Hollywood tries to pass off as real life that...

All right, this is becoming more and more of a rant. Back to the point. Movies that I've seen that didn't get massive advertising pushes during prime time dramas on FOX. And I feel like I need to share it with the six people that read this. Movies that you may not have heard of that I guarantee you like more than that CG nightmare starring some actor who got drunk and punched a hooker during post-production. All right. Happy now.

Ok, this movie has Jack Black. How bad could it be? Its not bad at all actually. Its really good. The premise is that two guys who work at an old video store. Real old. Kinda needs something to keep it going, what with all these DVDs and corporations. So one day something stupid happens and one of the tapes gets erased. 2001 I think. Either way, these two dudes try to undo their mistake by recording over the movie using their own sets, cameras, and skills.

Its been quite a long time since I've seen the movie, but I recall there being a big online advertisement for this movie. Several popular and classic movies were 'demade' by Black and Def. I'm going to keep this short, half because I don't remember specifics, and partially because I want you to go watch it yourself. Its got a certain charm to it, and the movies in the movies are why you come to see it, and the clunky stupidity of the leads making the fake movies.

All right, this movies is a little less straightforward. This movie is, as it states in the first few lines, an homage to the element of nothing utilized by movies. This entire movie is one almost completely random event followed by something strange, and then, I...no one really knows. The movie is like one big downhill spiral. It doesn't exactly fall apart, but its a big insubstantial chaotic...wurrrrrggh.

 Let me rephrase. That's a compliment. Its a movie that completely falls apart and still remains compelling. Premise is a tire awakes in the middle of the desert and finds out it has the ability to blow things up with its mind. Thus begins the most random series of events known to man. I'll try naming a few things that happen without blowing the whole movie. A cop convinces another to shoot him three times in the chest to prove a point. The maitre d' takes orders from a demon turkey before killing him and serving him. The tire falls in love.

I fear I've said too much already. Anyways give it a watch, and a warning, some parts are extremely slow paced. Stick with it. It isn't a very long movie, and it isn't exceedingly good, but its the most interesting thing you'll ever see. Like watching a train wreck in slow motion and in reverse, but all of a sudden you realize the wreck is happening in real time, and that nothing else is moving slow or in reverse.

No, this wasn't made by Tyler Perry. No, its not severely racist.

Now that we're done with that, I can easily tell you that this is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Premise is Kung Fu master, Vietnam veteran and former CIA agent Black Dynamite's (yes that is his name) brother is shot by the mob, and he's he to find answers, and maybe take down The Man while he's at it. This film is both some kind of satire and homage, and it pays it to '70s 'blaxploitation' films. Its a real genre. Look it up. Anyways, the low quality-ness of the movie is all in the details, and the plot is a slapped together hilarity of stupid events.

This is a world in which the term 'jive turkey' can be taken completely seriously. A world where cars that drive off cliffs explode for no reason. Smart people spent a long time making the dialogue deliberately bad. I don't want to ruin anything about the movie, but did you see the second sentence of the paragraph above? If that didn't sell you, just look at that poster. It features Black Dynamite three times. Insanity.

And the movie was cool enough to spawn an animated series coming next year. Excited!


And that's all I got for now. I made sure to keep it short to try to sucker people in to watch these awesome movies. Check the Ratings, and enjoy the show. Let me know if you watched any of these or want to tell me about a weird movie you've seen recently. I'm more than willing to listen.